Five Ways to Show Support for a Friend Whose Loved One Has Alzheimer’s

You’d be hard-pressed to find a family in America that hasn’t been touched by Alzheimer’s disease. Whether a precious mother, a distant uncle or a friend’s sibling, most of us have known someone with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis in our lifetime. It’s no surprise when, according to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 5 million Americans are currently living with Alzheimer’s. 

At Comprehensive Care, our mission is to support the chronically ill and aging communities and their families. We know that a diagnosis like Alzheimer’s affects the whole family, so we structure our services around the needs of each individual. 

You might be wondering how you can support the people in your life who have been touched by Alzheimer’s. How do you help your friend navigate life as her mother loses her memory? What are ways you can show grace to a co-worker who is also serving as the primary caregiver for a loved one with Alzheimer’s? 

• Expect that they may be slow to communicate.

This goes for all types of communication. From sharing their Alzheimer’s journey with you to answering a text message about a playdate scheduled next week, they may be slow to communicate. This may be because they’re having a hard time forming the words to explain what they’re going through, or it may be because they’re serving as their loved one’s primary caregiver and simply can’t find enough minutes in the day. 

What can you do? Show them grace when you don’t get a quick response. Even better, let them know if something isn’t urgent and take the burden to respond quickly off of them. 

• Offer an ear.

They may need to talk about their loved ones and how they’re dealing with the change. They may wish to turn their brain off for an hour and talk about anything other than that! If you’re not sure how to offer an ear to listen, be upfront with them, and ask. Would you like to talk about your mom? Or would you like to talk about last week’s episode of The Bachelorette?

• Cook them a meal. 

Remember having a new baby and feeling like it was nearly impossible to feed yourself, too? When a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, it can often be a very similar situation. Whether your friend is serving as the primary caregiver or simply trying to mentally process what life looks like from here on out, a home-cooked meal will help them feel loved, supported, and nourished. 

• Take the planning off their plate. 

You may not be able to take caregiving duties off their plate, but you can offer other bits of help. Maybe your kids are on a soccer team together and you offer to take over snack duty on their designated week. Maybe you’re working on a project together at work and you offer to handle writing the memo about it. If you actively look for places to relieve them of life’s ticky-tack chores, they’ll be able to spend that precious time refreshing or spending time with their loved ones. 

• Educate yourself on Alzheimer’s and dementia. 

When you educate yourself about Alzheimer’s and dementia, you relieve the burden from your friend to teach you. You make it easier for them to open up because you can be an active, educated participant in the conversation. The Alzheimer’s Association and the CDC are great places to start. 

Above all, know that people’s needs may be different. One friend may want a distraction, the other may need a good cry. If you’re reading this article, you’re already taking the first step toward showing support.